johngeades's Blog

Coming to you from across the big pond in Ayrshire, Scotland. I decided about a month ago that I would come to the UK to try to qualify for the European Tour. It is the exact replica of the PGA tour except their tournaments are held all over Europe. I am at the 1st qualifying stage in Scotland playing a play called Dundonald Links. It is only a few minutes from Troon where they hold the British Open every 7 years. I will try to post a few times while I am over just to give a little bit of humor and day to day of staying in the birthplace of William Wallace. I am famous for making quick judgments on people and places which can get me in trouble but I will go ahead and do the same about Scotland. 1. The women here are atrocious (yet to see 1 attractive female) 2. The food is the epitome of average 3. Links golf is the way the game was made to be played 4. TV is a joke (legitimately 7 channels) I am sure I will have 30 by the end of the week! Every week I will post 3 plays as well lets see how I do this year. Dolphins +3 Packers -2.5 Ravens +2

After eating Tex-Mex for the third night in a row in Austin Texas, I am feeling absolutely fantastic for this weeks NGA/hooters tour event. We have gotten lucky so far in dodging Hurricane Dolly but it looks like a wet Thursday and could lead to some tough conditions for the first round tomorrow. I am inspired to play well and get myself in contention to win this week after watching my golf idol Greg Norman in the British Open last weekend. It would have been amazing to see him pull out a win in a major at age 53 but just seeing him in competing again at a high level is inspirational. Last week, I placed 6th in a tournament in North Myrtle Beach shooting 66-72-73 and it has sparked some confidence that I haven't had since college. It is time for me to have a coming out party and I am inviting all of you. My run to play on the PGA tour next year starts this week and will run through Q-school in December. On a secondary note I would encourage any of you to visit Austin, Texas at your next opportunity. Unbelievable food, great atmosphere, beautiful women, and great golf courses. Today I ran along the river for my daily exercise and I must have passed at least 10 knockouts. It makes you kick it into high gear when you pass a beautiful young coed. I will check in again when I make the trip to Houston for next weeks tournament. Eades

Four weeks on the road doesn't seem like that long of a time but it wears on you for sure. Before you know it every girl you see looks like a 10. Yesterday I swear a 200 pound girl with a pretty face looked like a supermodel. As for eating, you only can eat Quizno's, Cracker barrel, and Outback so many times before you just want a home cooked meal. (no I am not a chef but I can put together a bag of lettuce and some grilled chicken to make a killer salad) As for golf, it hasn't exactly been the best golf I have ever played but I have learned some important lessons. 1. The harder you try to make putts the less you make 2. I play better when I crush weights during the week 3. It is a lot cooler when it is 100 degrees out when you shave your head I opened the trip with a 4th place finished on the Genesis tour with 70-72-70. Missed back to back cuts on the hooters tour in Bentonville, AK 71-73, then a 74-72 in Miami, OK, was a definite trunk slammer. Shot 69 today in the first round in Nashville but still putted like a blind man. Need to get to bed and stir up a little 65 tomorrow to get in the mix this week. By the way the next time I see Michael Jordan playing golf at my club in Charlotte, I am going to punch him right in the neck. IS THERE A WORSE GM IN THE NBA. Please look at the Bobcats draft tonight, straight up laughable.

What I saw yesterday at the US OPEN was ridiculous. The shots that Tiger Woods were making weren't real, they were right out of Tiger Woods 08' collectors addition. For those of you that aren't avid golfers or rarely play the game the chances of these putts and chips going in, are about as common as Danica Patrick winning on the IRL circuit. I mean these 60 foot bombs breaking 6 feet down a hill just don't go in for most of us. Not to build Tiger up so much, I don't think he is as hurt as he is acting on the course. Yes I am aware he is hurt and when you swing 130mph it cant feel good on your surgically repaired left knee but all the grimacing for the cameras is getting old fast. I feel like he is truly just trying to build his mystic. Like Ben Hogan has about hitting balls till his hands bleed, or Bobby Jones barely being able to walk up the 18th because of heat exhaustion. WHEN TIGER WINS TODAY, people will talk about the US Open Tiger won on 1 knee for hundreds of years. As for me I am Northwest , Arkansas playing 3 hooters tour events in a row. 71-73 this week just wasn't good enough. Go Celtics!

I don't usually do this but I have to brag a little bit because I just passed a DUI checkpoint with flying colors. Officer didn't tell me what I blew but you can bet your ass it was under .08! Quite possibly the most nervous I have been in my life. "No question" is my new line of the next 6 months. For some reason I get attached to saying certain words and "no question" is something I just cant stop saying all of a sudden. SO in the spirit of my new word there is no question Phil Mickelson doesn't win the Wachovia. Guy is in the zone. Also if that really cute blonde girl I was talking to tonight is reading this please leave your number or some contact info.

After a long break from the Yard I am back to keep all of my 7 readers updated on whats going on. Tomorrow I have the Monday qualifier to try to get in the Wachovia Championship in my hometown of Charlotte. Couldn't be happier that Tiger is soft and couldn't take the pain in his knee so he decided to have surgery. This leaves him out of the tournament this week and gives me a chance to get a win if I get in the field tomorrow. There will be 4 spots for 75 guys so I have to bring out the best I got tomorrow. But after watching Ryan Moore swing the golf club today and finishing 2nd on the PGA tour I have convinced myself in 2 hours that I have the best golf swing in America. How that guy hits the ball is beyond me. The last month has filled with 4 Mini Tour events, 3 of which I made the cut. A Bachelor party trip to Vegas that I am not sure you can even tell some of the stories on the internet even with a anonymous profile. It was absolutely ridicules! I always was a fan a Vegas, but the place absolutely fits my personality. Aggressive, loud, nonstop, and as much action as you want. Without a doubt I will live there at some point in my life. To me it doesn't get much better than going to Tryst, staying up all night at the tables, sleeping for 3 hours and then hitting up the lazy river at MGM. I will be back later this week. Eades is back!

For those of you who didn't see the Top 10 Sexiest golfers on the golf channel you missed out. Like all shows on the golf channel it will be replayed 56 times in the next 2 weeks so I am sure you can catch it. There are to really key points to talk about on this list- ONE is the fact that if Christie Kerr is in your top 5! The LPGA tour needs new requirements for getting on tour, because they have to do better than this. If they showed close up shots on just about any LPGA tour player without makeup on (especially Paula Creamer) you couldn't print it in any magazine or post it on any website. The LPGA website would just be words because no one would be able to look at it for more than 5 seconds. I don't know how that tour stays alive, but I guarantee I would watch if they got hotter players and made them play in less clothes. I mean should any top 10 sexiest players in a sport include men? This is the sad part, 7 out of 10 in golf were men, and they forgot me! So really 8 out of 10. I guess we could boycott the LPGA tour until their players are more attractive but that would require us to watch it at some point and I would recommend us never doing that. Big Bachelor party in Vegas this weekend, should come back with some great stories and some dynamite pictures/videos!

After spending 7 days in the Guatemala I guess I should just be happy I didn't come back with Mad Cow or the Clap! All I heard before I went was to avoid beef, lettuce, and the whore house. I managed to avoid 1 of 3 and both things I tried included a fork. We stayed in a fantastic 5 star hotel in Guatemala City called the Clarion Suites. It was surrounded by fantastic restaurants, great casinos and decent shopping. We rode a bus north of the city and up a mountain every day to place called San Isidro. One of the most beautiful country clubs I have ever been too in my life. It overlooks Guatemala City, stares at 2 volcanoes, and has some of the fastest greens I have ever played in my life. As for the golf tournament I made the cut after a 79-72 which put in in 30 position going into the weekend but I struggled for 80-79 on the weekend and finished 57th. Obviously these scores sound like I should be playing in the 10 year old division in your local club championship but the conditions to play in were brutal. 30 mph winds and greens rolling 12, made birdies hard to come by and bogeys coming in bunches. I have played 3 US Amateurs and this is right up there with playing Oakmont. I hate to use excuses, but the place was just ridiculous. I will be back with some stories later in the week, right now I have to watch how Maryland managed to give a up a 20 point lead with 11 minutes left and flush our NCAA dreams down the toilet in the process. I have posted some pictures on my blog website check them out. www.johnnyeades.blogspot.com

Whats up everyone in the Yard. Thought I would share a little story from the weekend before I head off for the first trip of the year. This is the burning question the day, am I retarded? How is it possible seeing my car (white tahoe) parked left of this sign, that I get my car put in a boot? Most of the time I have a tendency to cut corners or take risks that I probably shouldn't take in life but last night is one of the few times in my life I went the extra mile and it only hurt me. So I am pulling into to parking garage at Nikko's sushi bar and there are spots everywhere but the sign tells me to go to the 4th floor and there is designated parking for the restaurant. So I decide that to be safe tonight I will just do what the sign tells me. As I get to the 4th level I look up and see this sign. No problem, right! Wrong, apparently there are designated spots on the 4th level that you can and cant park in. After an entertaining and great meal at Nikko's, I return to wheel the old Tahoe towards downtown Charlotte and there is a boot on my car and a sign on my window giving me a phone number to remove the boot. At this point I am fairly calm, but after the tow truck arrives and the biggest jackass in the country steps out of his car my mood quickly changed. He informs me that it is a $100 fine to remove the boot and he doesn't accept credit cards. ( I mean I usually don't just roll with hundy's) After laughing for a solid 7 minutes in this guys face I have no choice but to hand him a crisp $100 bill from my wallet. Of all the bets I have lost in my life, this easily is the hardest hundy I have ever had to give up. I felt like I was selling my soul to the devil or something. Just remember I usually feel like I am better than things around me so for me to even get the 4th level without parking was a miracle. I must have passed 300 open spots on my way up. After 20 minutes of debating and taking pictures of the scene I tell this 300 pound tow truck driver that I demand his card and name because I am taking him to court. As he begins to walk away I take all 155 pounds of me and get in his face. Before this guy got hurt he decided to give me his card but to be even more of a jackass he ripped off the sign on my window but left the paper stuck to the glass and I cant get it off. I realize now that it probably isn't even worth making a scene over but after 3 bourbon and gingers on a Saturday night after a Terps loss at Miami I was up for a fight! I am headed to the airport tomorrow to catch a plane to the 3rd world country of Guatemala. I am going to do my best to stay out of that little Casino and many strip clubs and focus on my game. I truly have never felt as good as I do right now over the golf ball so a good finish is in the cards. I am atleast assured of coming back with some great pictures and unbelievable stories at worst!

I should have started earlier trying to have kids with the ladies after watching this video. I don't know if this kid Cody Paul has been on Yard Barker before, but all I know is he is the man. After watching the video for the seventeenth time, I have decided that I am either going to let him consummate my marriage on my wedding night or take the virginity of my first daughter. He could officially be the next great white hope. Check out the video and let me know what ya'll think. Second on the agenda, I was dragged on a double date last night to see the new Kate Hudson and Matt McConaughey movie, Fool's Gold. This could honestly be the worst movie that I have even been to in my whole life. I am fairly certain that the directors were aware of the atrocious script and thus had to devise a plan to retain viewers; consequently, McConaughey and Hudson were basically naked for most of the movie. I understand he has a hot body and the ladies like him (no homo) and she is sexy (needs a little upper body enhancement), but if I just wanted to see bodies I would have stayed at home and watched skinomax or found something on the web. I know the entire world uses ebay, but I am losing my virginity today as I am about to post my first items to sell. I have already bid on ACC basketball tickets here in Charlotte. If any readers have any leads on tickets, let me know! The off-season is starting to move by pretty fast since I am less than 2 weeks from my first tournament in Guatemala. Without a doubt, this is going to be a breakout season for me. GO Terps, beat Duke!